Fallen Fantasy: An Interplanetary Crossover
by Vernon682
Summary: A Courier, Fresh off the battle of Hoover dam is tasked with delivering a model of his favored gun. When the One-winged Angel returns from the dead though, Will John be able to stop him when he is rendered almost alone after rendering most of his support dead? And will he survive his destiny? frequent foul Language. Violence OCs OOC. Dark Humor.
1. Chapter 1

An Anti-Materiel Rifle shot rang across the Mojave, it's 50 caliber payload being expunged into an unfortunate trooper. The battle for Hoover dam had begun.

A large group of Legion troopers had started their assault, as did the NCR troopers. Leading the NCR's assault was the hero of the NCR, once a humble courier tasked with delivering a platinum chip.

Now a heavily armed soldier within a few months. The hero had already shot 4 troopers, and had cornered 7 more.

a single large blast from a grenade launcher killed all 7 of the troopers. the rangers supporting the hero picked off all stragglers, and they closed in to the Legate within a few hours of constant fighting. Lanius was the only thing between him and victory. His words of terror not fazing the former courier.

Lanius' last words were "We shall-". His monologue being cut off by a 10 Kiloton blast of energy courtesy of Esther.

Despite his survival, The legion commander fell to a vicious output of 30 assault carbine rounds. the last thing the hero did before telling the general of his victory, was give the monster of the east a burial at sea. A courier, defeated a legend, John, defeated the legion.

2 months later

Being a courier was often something that John was proud of. traveling the R(uined).S(tates) of A(merica) was often worth the danger posed from raiders and mutants.

the new sights were exhilarating and often horrifically beautiful. and the pay was usually good. A new trek had started. oddjobs in the Mojave running out, this package was very unique, with beautiful engravings all around the box.

John wondered how post-war machines could engrave things so well, to the degree of surpassing pre-war machines despite outdated tech, he could only guess that this box was hand engraved. There were no orders for the box to remain closed and so, he looked at the ornate delivery.

It was but a show piece. having no hole and being highly engraved. it would make a fine club, but that was all.

He closed the box to the showgun and went to the Mojave outpost one last time. to say goodbye to his former home of New Vegas. The road ahead was right in the middle of a massive desert.

with little interruption.

a Massive deathclaw being his only adversary. "D'oh!" was the only thing John could squeeze out before being winded by a titanic blow to the torso and being sent flying. recovering slowly, he raised a modified AT Rifle, and blew the deathclaw's head off.

the beast still wasn't dead, squirming and flailing post-mortemly, John shot the beast in the torso, reducing it to mulch with one shot.

He would have bigger problems later, his assumption was right.

The compass on his Pip-Boy screwed up, not pointing north, or to his destination which showed him right on top of it. He decided to turn in for the night.

(An incredibly smart idea, Considering it's the desert with little water, not much food, and shit trying to kill you.)

Morning came fast. and Jonathan found himself confronted with an idiot with dumb hair, a bigger idiot with a gun arm and a ditz running to a building. "Well shit." John could be heard cursing his screwedness, his life, his cyborg spine, his heart, and his smart mouth brain.

before a massive idiot wearing sunglasses popped up and asked him where he came from, after all, he appeared out of nowhere. his question was answered with a gun pointing at his head.

"I. Am not gonna answer that. YOU! are gonna tell me where I am." As john began asking question rapid fire modely (that's a word.) The idiot wearing sunglasses tried to calm the irate man down.

"Ok dude! chill. I didn't do shit yo! your in edge. a city. Ci-ty. ya hear?" him saying that confused john.

it looked too pre war, but he didn't get arrested yet. so it wasn't entirely civil either. "Is this place anything like New Vegas? Who runs this show? an ok guy? an asshole like yours truly? or a complete dildo wacko?" John's rapid fire questions had gotten ridiculous. "Ok yo, you win. Prez is ok, he don mean any harm any mo'. dig?" the idiot said.

"Kay, thanks for the help. I'm gonna go see what that goddamned ruckus is all about." John told the idiot with sunglasses. "Oh, an armed man roaming the street coming outta nowhere is completely normal. Goddamned genius." The idiot wearing sunglasses Called him out for expecting things to go normally.

"Well in New Vegas things are like that. You have to be armed, or you die." John Called back for his idiocy. "WHATEVER! just go see your goddamned ruckus! I'm gonna grab a beer." The idiot told john, (SPOILER! he's Reno.) "Like that's a Goddamned spoiler!" Reno yelled. John promptly shot him with Rubber slugs, causing more panic. (Way to go!) As John walked up to the building, a very short man with a huge blade was guarding the door.

"Ok. now, what was all the ruckus about?" The man replied with a scowl "Reno's guts are all over the place."

"So?" John looked at Reno's corpse and saw entrails all over the place. "Godda- I was using rubber slugs!"

The man practically screamed "Well he's dead now. and no, you can't come in. you are a true danger." the man behind him didn't seem to notice that he was going away and attacked.

"Woah woah woah! What the Hells wrong with you asshole!? Let's try NOT to kill each other. I don't want to ruin my weapons. not on scrubs like you." John tried weakly to reason with him.

But pulled out his Riot shotgun anyway. he knew there was no reasoning with him. he threatened his family (unwaringly, but still.) and he was going to defend the whole building.

He respected him for that but in everything else, John thought he was just a bitch. "Why did you come here? why did you ruin our trip? are you with them?" John said nothing. He just dodged his strike and emptied his clip into him. "The illuminati? Nope, Enclave?, Nope, NCR? Hell yeah! just shut up and we'll talk. About your idiocy, my superiority, and your death."

He cocked his gun anyway. The man went on the offensive. and John lost another magazine. "I feel your pain. I was shot too. Too bad you have no will to live." John's taunts where getting to the dude and another magazine cut his angst short. he managed to throw John into a wall.

Which took 6 stimpaks to fix. Slightly winded, John looked on as the last assault went on. At the last second, the ranger sequoia sent it's judgement.

and the attacker went down. a last attempt to stand was cut short by a sword poking through his torso. John aimed sequoia at the man holding the sword, who looked displeased at his kill. 4 shots rang quickly, and the short man ran out to witness John's first battle with Sephiroth.

The other man went to join John and a woman with gloves followed. John was practically bitchslapped into the wall and was knocked out for a second. he took a second to complain about: this package being useless, His attacker being dumb, being bitchslapped, and above all, Reno. Poor bastard had accidentaly been killed. as soon as he came back to reality he saw that... Emo... Dude fly off. with one wing. Cue John swearing about it. He also saw the man, Who someone called Cloud, cue him swearing about that.

the woman with boobies and balls, who Cloud called Tifa.

cue him swearing about how more people need simple names like that. And another woman comforting another woman who was weeping over the asshole who tried to kill him.

he also saw her get up to go clobber him over the head, knocking his already hazy vison straight to hell.

When his vision returned, he was on a table with all his items on the table next to him.

He tried to reach his Nuka-Cola, but fate felt like being a bitch so it prevented him from having it by dispatching the asshole. Who was pointing a gun at him. Having recovered with his brush with death. All John could say was "Aaaugh come on!" Before being shot, which felt like nothing.(Being level 50 has it's advantages). "Wait a second. You shoot me ONCE! I go to outer space, I shoot you once. You don't even flinch. how does that work?" Mr. Asshole asked "I dunno. I just roll with it. and also, you have a pistol. I had a shotgun. Goddamned asshole" John belatedly said "Was that really Necessary?" The idiot with the hair asked. "EEeeyup."

AN: Refined and made to much better standards. I revealed the FFVII cast so far. and compressed the battles to the same chapter. also it doesn't take itself as seriously as before. Review please! I Need constructive criticism.. thingy... None of these characters are mine.


	2. Chapter 2:Planning

John looked around, trying to find something, why'd I do it? Why'd I try to be a hero? I thought about Serah... and instinct took over, an-WHAT THE!?

I found what I was looking for, my sweet one, my best of friends, my true savior."Hey Snow, I'd like for you to meet someone." You carried a person? in your BACKPACK!?" Snow said as he turned around, coming face to face with a PGM Hecate II, a massive, hex patterned rifle, with a name etched on the gun, "I'd like you to meet, 'Eclair'" and all I and Snow heard, was a cannon. A gale force of pressure, fire, and gun powder. He didn't stand a chance, not against something like this. The .50 BMG round had knocked out around half of his face with the pressure alone, the round itself had blown him apart. His head replaced with lasagna. I could hear nothing, A Stimpak for my eardrums would be required. After observing the mess, I took my gear, his money, and his coat, and walked out the door, past the stunned Tifa, Serah, and the other girl, I might never know her name, and faced the sunlight, Cloud was probably having a heart attack, their fault for keeping his guns in the open. I secretly hoped I'd never have to use Eclair on an innocent again.

"What just happened?" Rude asked, looking on at Reno, Snow and Tifa, "S-Snow.. was murdered, There's nothing left of him. He was blown apart! Literally!" Tifa was outraged, and depressed, he had walked right by her, and she did nothing. Serah was on sleeping medication to prevent a nervous breakdown,

and Cloud, was paranoid, he felt 2 forces, one Sephiroth, the other, a force he didn't quite know about.

I heard someone talking to me, "You really screwed the pooch John, Cloud is almost flat lining, Snow is dead, Serah is on the verge of a mental breakdown, and a madman is raging once again," "Your telling me shit I already know, who are you anyway?" "you may refer to me as Mr. Crescent. the last of his mind." "Ok moron, one question answered, more to come, why are you talking to me about stuff like this?" Can't a guy have a break? He just shot someone out of spite! and now he's the chosen one? someone's getting a load from Esther. "You, are destined, to destroy this timeline, to kill the great one." "Heavy shit man, so I just kill the madass and go home?" "for now yes. I'm warning you, he is beyond powerful at the moment" "To hell with this, I'll plan something 'kay? now I'm more concerned about FOOD and WATER! 'kay? Good! we're on equal ground. Now buzz off!" "You have no idea of what you are getting into... Jonathan Cameron Baker..." "Cool, you heard me!"

His plan was to load Eclair up with Raufoss rounds, explosive bullets, 10, right through the head, 1 could maim a deathclaw, Sephirass would be no different, Maybe 2, but 1 would be the shot to go for, He loaded his rifle, shotgun, Carbine, and pistol, and went to bed.

I do not own any characters, thanks to Micheal McCann, for writing Icarus, the music playing while i was typing which belongs to Eidos and Micheal McCann


End file.
